Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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