its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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