Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
