My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
