I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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