my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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