You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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