We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize