Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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