I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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