My room smells like vodka and shame
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
