Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize