i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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