seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
