my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
