She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
