He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
