Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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