We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
