I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
