So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
