Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
