I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
