I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
All the doctor said was why
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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