lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize