I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
