My liver just broke up with me...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
