eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
