I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize