Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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