i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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