Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
