dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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