There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
When are your genitals available?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
