It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I forgot how hot balto sounded
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
