My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize