I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
