I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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