Please don't use social media to get back at me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
