I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
