So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
