I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
