accomplished twins. life is a go
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
