Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
