If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
