youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
