What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize