sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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