the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
