why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
