R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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