then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We have so much sex to catch up on
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
