how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize