just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
