do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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