So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
