Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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