her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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