Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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